So many people ask me about online dating and how to make the experience better. So I decided to share some tips to help show off your best self, and also feel less of the cringe while swiping.
While we can’t stop others from what they do online and how they create their profiles, we CAN make our own profiles stellar and take on an epic mindset so online dating is actually fun and not exhausting.
Online Dating Tip #1
Show your personality in your pictures.
If every pic you have is the same Blue Steele duck-face car selfie, you’re going to look boring. Ok, you get ONE cute duck-face car selfie, but that’s it!
But try to spice up your pics by thinking of what makes you, you.
Do you love to paint? Show that.
Do you have brunch every Saturday with your girlfriends? Show that.
Are you hilarious or clumsy? Show the pic of you laughing or even half falling over the coffee table you trip over every second day.
Remember that online dating apps are a FLOOD of information overload.
The perfect guy for you is swiping past hundreds of women every day, you need to stand out and show your personality if you want him to notice you.
Plus, if he’s even a little bit smart, your diverse and fun pics give him ample opportunity to initiate meaningful conversations with you instead of, "hey what’s up”.
Guys don’t want perfect, they want to be attracted to you and see that you are one of kind, so don’t be like the herd. Stand out, show your personality and have some fun with your pics.
Online Dating Tip #2
Make your bio positive!
If you have the words “NO HOOKS UPS” in your bio, please go change that right meow.
Here’s the thing. When people are looking for a partner, positive attracts and negative repels.
I get it, there are so many guys (and ladies) on dating apps who only want hookups, which is fine, sex is great!
However, if your dating goal is to find a relationship, we know that spending your time with ‘hookup guy’ can get in the way of that. So yes, you can communicate this, but doing it with a positive twist is far better.
You’ll have to use your own authentic words but try saying something like, ‘I’m here to find a real relationship’, or ‘I’m here to find something meaningful and long term’, or ‘I’m here to find my forever partner’.
It clearly states your dating purpose (which is a really important step in my coaching), so that you can still filter out guys only looking for hookups all while sounding like the positive and cute Superbabe that you are.
Men have repeatedly told me that one of the things that turns them off most about online dating bios, is when women make a bossy-type list of ‘you must be this, and you better not be that’.
Finding ways to positively state what you are looking for in your bio is key. Otherwise you may accidently turn off some pretty amazing guys and lose out on some incredible dating opportunities.
Online Dating Tip #3
Meet people in the flesh.
For people who are wanting to get into a traditional relationship, the number one reason to go on dating apps is to get off dating apps!
This requires having the OBJECTIVE to meet people in person.
Getting comfy-cozy sitting at home swiping, messaging, and never actually meeting guys, becomes far too easy and actually sends many people down the Dating Exhaustion rabbit hole.
The best approach is having the goal to meet people. In the flesh. Shifting your online dating strategy to simply using it as a steppingstone to meet people (fairly quickly) will lead you towards dating success way faster!
When you find yourself relying on messaging to replace getting to know people in face-to-face interactions, catch yourself, stop it, and start initiating actual dates.
If he doesn't reciprocate or is “too busy” or whatever other lazy excuse some people have, you know either he isn’t actually all that interested in you or possibly not dating for the same purpose you are. So, on the next you go!
Online Dating Tip #4
Showing your best self is important but ensuring that you aren’t deceiving people in the process is really important.
There’s nothing quite like chatting with a guy who claims to be 6’2” in his profile however accidentally shows up to your first date 5’8”.
The same thing works for us, ladies. When you litter your profile with filters, snapchat bunny ears, and photoshop, it really sets an off-putting tone for guys.
Trust me they tell me this ALL the time!
Sure, a cute professional photo here and there in your profile is fine, but its best to show raw pictures of you too.
You don’t want to start things out on a lie or deception. The perfect guy for you is going to see all the real, raw, and true parts of you so yes post pics that you look cute as hell in, but keep them real.
Guys love real.
The same goes for embellishing your bio. Do you REALLY work out 4 times per week? Are you REALLY an outdoor girl who loves hiking every weekend?
Try not to mix up your words with what you truly are, and what you WISH you were, or more so what you think guys just want to hear.
Showing off your true and best self from the beginning sets a really great tone. Guys will know you're real and wont wonder why you feel the need to embellish or hide behind cartoon filters and airbrush.
Online Dating Tip #5
Get good at dishing out rejection.
Online dating can be a revolving door at times, but that doesn't mean you should let all your respectful people skills go out the window.
Yes it's super easy to just disappear into the abyss of zero accountability land, but ghosting and un-matching someone suddenly after you've been chatting a while isn't nice. You know this!
Too many people are quick to say how much they hate ghosting but when it comes time to doing the dirty work themselves, somehow that ghost appears.
I get it. It sucks telling someone you don't think you've got the connection you're looking for.
Many women tell me, "but I don't want to hurt his feelings."
I can tell you from a LOT of experience, politely and clearly letting the guy know you're moving on IS the right thing to do.
It takes guts to dish out rejection but I always told myself I'd rather feel that moment of discomfort, than be weak-minded and disappear.
Yup I also know that some guys do NOT take it well. And I teach an entire module on rejection which covers this, but, say your piece, know you don't owe any explanations, and move on.
Then if you have to block the ones who get really mad, go for it. At least you tried like the respectable, confident Superbabe that you are.
Although I could likely give 1000 online dating tips, here are five to get you started. Happy swiping!
You can also find more dating advice on my Facebook page: Love, Dates, and Robots.