Updated: Nov 7
Dating means dating, it doesn’t mean texting. Getting lost down the texting rabbit hole while trying to get to know someone, is a trap that so many people find themselves in, and hate. Online dating is hard enough, and texting for weeks or even months, isn’t what we are after. Yet, it still seems to happen. Here are 3 tips to help you escape your newfound pen pal and take things to the next level.
1) Be proactive. This means when you are creating your online dating profiles, put a little something in your bio about ‘really enjoying meeting new people’. Or something like, “my favourite place for first dates are anywhere there is great coffee or tapas”. Of course, with social distancing we have to get creative, but a distanced coffee picnic date with a virtual hug is definitely attainable, even in these days. Remember to keep your bio positive and avoid saying things like, “not looking for a pen pal”. That comes off grumpy and turns people off fast.
2) Ask them out! Yes I also mean you, ladies. When you’re going from online dating apps to texting each other, texting should NOT be where you are getting to know everything about the person. Get to know the basics, but after about 3 days, its time to make a date. Whether it’s a video zoom date or distancing in person, you need to get that ball rolling. Too much information prior to meeting, can take away some of the spark of that first date, and also can set you up for disappointment if you have created a version of the person in your imagination over several weeks of texting.
3) Suggest a phone call. This is a critical step in the dating world. For those of you who get dating exhaustion, this is very important. You see, dating exhaustion occurs when we spend too much time either surfing online profiles, or texting people for too long, only to find out you aren’t compatible, or someone eventually ghosts the other. A quick phone call after a couple days of texting, is a simple way to get a LOT of information about whether you like someone or not. Voice tones, and conversation flow will help you decide if you actually think the connection will continue, or if perhaps you’ll learn you aren’t as compatible as you thought. Scheduling a 15-minute call is a key time saver. If there’s no compatibility, you’ve saved yourself a ton of time and effort. If the attraction is there after the call, you have a much better chance of staying on his or her mind so the dating can progress. Total win.
Next time you find yourself frustrated and caught in the texting trap, try on e of these ways to escape. This will not only save you time but will also help avoid dating exhausting. Our time is valuable, it’s important to not get caught stuck in time consuming text conversations that go nowhere. Avoiding this well keep you on track in your dating life having fun; the way it’s supposed to be.